on a day like this, she decided to welcome the moment with her favorite activity - sleep. sleep has always been the most important thing in her life. she loves to sleep. her family knows this.
sleep- which she is deprived of since she reached beijing but had a luxury of when she is in singapore.
but she guessed it was a wrong choice made. as time ticked, frustration overwhelmed her when she hid herself under the comforter. a sudden outburst of anger and she so wanna stormed out of the room, throws her things around, show black face to everyone. (a common sight when she is home)
back in singapore, her friends always knew she had a bad temper. but only her family know how bad it can goes. her family had always absorbed all her nonsensical behavoir without any complaints. her family has always been understanding towards her temper, especially her mom and 2nd bro. and she had taken all that for granted. but over here in beijing, there was no one and no where to vent all this frustration.
thinking of this. made her misses home. misses her family. misses her brothers. the only output is to cry. cry herself to sleep. she cant even cry out loud, fearing that her housemates will hear her.
a day that she don't wanna be alone.
but she is alone.
why such emotions. she don't know. maybe she is just tired. tired of doing things for herself and others. tired of considering how others will feels. tired of controlling her emotions. tired of going sch everyday. tired of everything that is going on here in beijing. things that she wont face in singapore. she dont even have to lay a finger at home. but things are so different over here.
such feelings are not frequent. luckily.
she knows she had to grow out of this. learn to handle and face it. give her some time. allow her to unleash all this feelings on a day like this. she needs it. for now, at least.
she will be fine. she will lock up all these when the clock struck 12am tonight. don't worry. locking up is her forte.
memorable 22nd.
p/s: the sch had requested the class to do a home video. and they chose “家” as one of the songs. the lyrics that she never once paid attention to. now struck her(so is everyone else) hard.
